Before anyone gets a wrong idea..I'd like to clarify that no I don't actually suffer from Insomnia....actually I suffer from Hypersomnia (excessive sleep)...n I absolutely love sleeping...n I can actually go to sleep anywhere, anytime.So whats with this Insomnia case?? Ok so this is the latest disorder that I've diagnosed in me(actually it was 1st diagnosed by my mom).......apart from Bipolar Disorder n Somatization of stress......
The problem started with my anxiety regarding submitting my Dissertation conjoined with the fact that my exam starts from April and I've not started studying at all.....for the first time in the dept of Applied Psychology someone will pass in the practical papers and will fail in all the theory papers......so you can well say I'm on the verge of a new record.....and those who know me...they know it very well that I'm very lazy...my condition can be clinically termed as "Attention raised but not sustained"......I'm totally a wacky person who only realizes the seriousness of any problem, when she's neck deep down in it.....ok I know I know I should improve ....but what can I do...I try ...seriously I do...somehow..I guess it's not in me...I can never be hard-working ...even if I try!!!
One thing that is prominently in me is that I get into a nervy situation whenever it's a crunch situation...for me it must be something related to academics.......n exam phobia is a common problem suffered by many...and I'm one of them.
So, on 30th March we were supposed to submit our Dissertation...n from 17th April our final year exam starts...so either you can concentrate on your theory , or you can concentrate on the Dissertation.
N the lazy me ...as usually left most of the work undone...as if somebody else would do the work for me!!!So when the time came I actually needed a miracle......n google became the miracle for me...All I'd do is to search on google on my topic and download stuffs.In the meanwhile, to add the spices, I'd also fight with my sis about 'Who's gonna use the P.C'......usually after 12 am I feel so drowsy that I'd have to rush to bed(except when I'm reading a story book ..it doesn't matter how much late am I getting)....but all these days...even when I felt sleepy ...n went to bed, n shut my eyes, all the things related to my dissertation would dance before me!!!i'd think about what mistakes I might possibly made in my methodology...how to write the last chapter....even what to write in the acknowledgment......Believe me...even when I tried I could not stop the flow of thoughts...n there I would lie awake ...staring at the ceiling......You know what..I even tried Relaxation techniques on me, specially those which are tried on Insomniac patients...but I could not sleep...the 'psychologist' could not even try therapy on herself!!!!And even when I'd finally fall asleep...I'd even dream about my studies and dissertation work.....yes I was completely turning into a wacko!!!
But don't worry...I've finally submitted my dissertation...it means that now I've to only lose sleep about my studies.....so I'm relieved in a way.......But lets see how far this insomnia goes....if I don't get sleep these days...you never know, I might continue writing stupid notes like this!!!Till then................