The Changing face of Indian Family

The Great Indian Family saga is a well coined terminology - celebrated in varieties of magazines,newspaper ,internet...even in K serials and sweared by a certain Mr.Johar or a Mr.Barjatiya.As it is often shown in the serials,the men in the family usually go to their offices in suits ,while the women manage the kitchen and their kids wearing kanjivarams and heavy makeup.But Indian Family is not so simple or cliched as that .......it is a complex,customized..often liberal......in a whole an interesting social institution.

If we can trace the earlier days of Indian Familyhood,we would find that Family came into existence with the institution of Marriage.As people got married and gave birth to children,they thought of strengthening the bond by staying together as a unit and by this idea the concept of family came into being.Previously the main system in the family was that of joint family system.People who shared the same blood came together and formed a family.But not only that,even the neighbours and the domestic helps even were considered a part of that BIG Family.All these helped the family members to share a feeling of togetherness,belongingness and even in forming a separate identity as a whole.

If the question arises that whether the family system was that of Patriarchal or Matriarchal in essence,I would rather opine that it was Both.The men being the main earning member of the family used to take part in most of the decision making,but it was the women who used to run the show inside the family.Be it being the treasurer(it's an open secret that the men either give their earnings to their mother or their spouse) or the being main spearhead in the household activities,women used to play crucial roles.So usuallly the seniormost man in the family would be regarded as the Head of the family ,while his spouse would also share the mantle in matters of household activities.

As it happens all the time,there was no dearth in quarrels or arguments within the family,whatever might be the reason......be it for power,or recognition or money , or even love.In the yester years ,the custom of a man having many wives was quite prevalent.So there were enough reasons for the women to fight amongst themselves.But all these fights were not only limited within the female section,the male section also used to take part in it equally.And their reasons also varied among power,properties or money

But inspite of all these human shortsomings,the joint family system survived for a long time,becuase where there was fighting ,there was love too;where there was lust for power ,there was the essence of sacrifice too.In a way the joint family system was like the Indian 'Khichdi'- mixture of different personalities.

But as modern age ushered in the advent of urbanisation,joint family system slowly began give way to its counterpart nuclear family system.As the male members went in search for better opportunities in the cities and finally settled there,nuclear family came into being.Now the modern family began to consist of the parents and their children.People started living in small apartments - a separate world of their own.The older members of the family mostly are either not given much importance in matters of the family,or else in an extreme way regarded as a burden.The relatives are for the occassional festive times or any kind of ceremony...else for the rest of the year apart from a 'hi hello' relation,not much contact is kept.In this time of multistoreyed bulidings,we often dont know who our neighbours are,while some of the more curious ones are treated with either suspicion or irritation.The parents are mostly busy with their own lives and the children with their studies.Instead of playing with friends on a ground or listening to stories from the Grandmas,the children have either internet or a fancy playstation to accompany them.

Even in the risk of sounding like a boring person,I would like to comment that I don't like this new modern lifestyle.Somehow,I feel suffocated ,as if I am not getting enough sunshine,water or air.This new lifestyle has its merit in many ways,but somewhere life has become very robotic,where in the pursue of material happiness ,people have forgotten one thing - sharing and caring.I am not criticising the nuclear family system here, I am criticising the lifestyle.After all we may be paupers or fools in real life,but its your family which will still treat you as the "Best".

Maybe we still yearn for this old charming essence of familylife or what else would explain the popularity of the family soaps or movies today.Maybe looking at the families shown in the soaps we fantasise for a family life like that.So long live the K serials ,long live the Johars and the Barjatiyas- as long as we crave for our families ,they will be no less popular.