Emosanal Attyachar!

I have become Dev D. Naye , there is no problem like Gender Identity Disorder....but truly I have become Dev D! N my Paro in this case is the huge Part II syllabus which doesn't seem to end!I've tried and I'm still trying , somehow like the other Paros, this Paro also seem to be eluding me big time!

Ok lets start from the beginning......I've my exams starting from this 17th April and I've 5 papers from which the 3 theory papers are going to be held this month...the next 2 on May. Now the problem lies with the theory papers.....I'm still clueless about them the way our Intelligence Department was clueless about the Mumbai attack!Ok now you can ask why am I not studying.Well to be honest I'm trying to study ( which I started from the end week of March), but my mind has got rusted because of the lack of any concrete academic activity...now nothing seems to enter my mind that easily......my condition is more like the bengali saying "Moron kale Harinaam!"

And to add that I'm a mistress of Distraction...not that I distract people very much (except when I'm head-butting someone, while laughing loudly).......I get distracted very easily!My concentration level is totally impaired and any sound Clinical Examiner would have vowed for that (not that my Mum doesn't).......Also when I'm complaining of getting Insomniac....somehow .......anyhow all these symptoms of insomnia vanishes whenever I start studying! I feel like another Rip Van Winkle......n that I can sleep for hours. If Mr. Sigmund Freud would have listened to this, he 'd have said that I'm getting "regressed" or using "escapism" as a defense mechanism.According to my good friend Richa ...these are nothing but symptoms of Exam Phobia...commonly seen in students like me.

Let me tell you another instance.....this Monday I suddenly got late night texts from my friends that our H.O.D has announced that our admit cards would be available from the next day , i.e, Tuesday...so we should collect it immediately. Now usually in University exam, you collect the admit card on the exam date itself.....so this came as a surprise.So we all decided that fine..chalo lets collect the admit cards next day itself. In due time I got ready went to catch the train. I was in the train (after waiting for another 20 mins) when I got this call from my friend Nabu that guess what.........we are not getting our admit cards...we'd get on the 17th itself!!! So you can imagine how pissed I'd have got ......after all making a journey to our Uni...which is quite distant from our home...n that too for not being fruitful...coz of what.......coz of the stupid whims of our old HOD!!!I felt like killing her then....after all if I did not have to make this journey, I'd have easily studied in home.......So I got down at the next station and again returned home. Mine was still all right......but there were several others who had already reached Uni earlier only to return home(of course me being the habitual late comer got little compensation). After I returned home, my dad gave me a good lecture that only an unplanned person like me can do this stupidity! So it pissed me off more! So when my dad left for C.A.B, I turned on the computer and starting listening to the Dev D songs, specially both the versions of 'Emosanal Attyachar' in full volume..........n when my Mum returned home she gave me a good thrashing due to it. I know I deserved it...only mum could not realize that this whimsical act of mine was driven by sheer frustration ....of not being able to concentrate while there was a huge syllabus left to be finished on one hand ....n added to it was the stupidity by our HOD on another hand ( by the way we've diagnosed that she suffers from Dissociative Disorder). I was indeed then feeling like another Dev D....frustrated, heartbroken, hopeless........

So this is my story of Emosonal Attyachar....n the following verses are dedicated both to upcoming exam+huge syllabus and to our HOD........

Tauba tera jalwa, tauba tera pyaar
Tera Emosanal Attyachar!!!!

Me n my insomnia.........

Before anyone gets a wrong idea..I'd like to clarify that no I don't actually suffer from Insomnia....actually I suffer from Hypersomnia (excessive sleep)...n I absolutely love sleeping...n I can actually go to sleep anywhere, anytime.So whats with this Insomnia case?? Ok so this is the latest disorder that I've diagnosed in me(actually it was 1st diagnosed by my mom).......apart from Bipolar Disorder n Somatization of stress......

The problem started with my anxiety regarding submitting my Dissertation conjoined with the fact that my exam starts from April and I've not started studying at all.....for the first time in the dept of Applied Psychology someone will pass in the practical papers and will fail in all the theory papers......so you can well say I'm on the verge of a new record.....and those who know me...they know it very well that I'm very lazy...my condition can be clinically termed as "Attention raised but not sustained"......I'm totally a wacky person who only realizes the seriousness of any problem, when she's neck deep down in it.....ok I know I know I should improve ....but what can I do...I try ...seriously I do...somehow..I guess it's not in me...I can never be hard-working ...even if I try!!!

One thing that is prominently in me is that I get into a nervy situation whenever it's a crunch situation...for me it must be something related to academics.......n exam phobia is a common problem suffered by many...and I'm one of them.

So, on 30th March we were supposed to submit our Dissertation...n from 17th April our final year exam starts...so either you can concentrate on your theory , or you can concentrate on the Dissertation.
N the lazy me ...as usually left most of the work undone...as if somebody else would do the work for me!!!So when the time came I actually needed a miracle......n google became the miracle for me...All I'd do is to search on google on my topic and download stuffs.In the meanwhile, to add the spices, I'd also fight with my sis about 'Who's gonna use the P.C'......usually after 12 am I feel so drowsy that I'd have to rush to bed(except when I'm reading a story book ..it doesn't matter how much late am I getting)....but all these days...even when I felt sleepy ...n went to bed, n shut my eyes, all the things related to my dissertation would dance before me!!!i'd think about what mistakes I might possibly made in my methodology...how to write the last chapter....even what to write in the acknowledgment......Believe me...even when I tried I could not stop the flow of thoughts...n there I would lie awake ...staring at the ceiling......You know what..I even tried Relaxation techniques on me, specially those which are tried on Insomniac patients...but I could not sleep...the 'psychologist' could not even try therapy on herself!!!!And even when I'd finally fall asleep...I'd even dream about my studies and dissertation work.....yes I was completely turning into a wacko!!!

But don't worry...I've finally submitted my dissertation...it means that now I've to only lose sleep about my studies.....so I'm relieved in a way.......But lets see how far this insomnia goes....if I don't get sleep these days...you never know, I might continue writing stupid notes like this!!!Till then................

Beaches and Friendship

A few days back I watched this movie called 'Beaches' starring Bette Midler &Barbara Hershey.It's a very old film (1988).........a tale about the friendship between two women (No Dostana story like John & Abhishek) ........ofcourse it had its share of romantic angles but primarily it was a tale of friendship.To be precise it was the story starts with the odd friendship between a New York child performer CC Bloom and San Fransisco rich kid Hillary who meet in a holiday resort in Atlantic City, & it marks the start of a lifetime friendship between them.While CC becomes a successful stage performer,Hillary becomes a successful lawyer.They face different trials and tribulations in their lives...even breaks up as friends at one point of the time....but as it happens in true friendship they make up.....n try to follow their respective careers with zeal.Finally when Hillary dies because of viral cardio myopathy and CC takes her child Victoria under her care & the movie ends with CC narrating Victoria about the story of how she & Hillary met as children.

The movie apparently is a simple story about friendship,but somehow it had touched me a lot!It reminded me of some of my old friends,with many of whom, I've either lost touch or have fallen out.Somehow, I had forgotten the good memories I've shared with them.....somehow I had forgotten the fun,the tears,the dreams we shared together.....it was almost as if I had repressed them down to my Unconscious or had put them inside a box and cast them away in the Sea!And I feel glad and sad at the same time........Glad of the fact that we have had such great time together and Sad of the fact that somehow most of them did not work out as it seemed it would. So through this, I want to thank all of them with whom I have had the opportunity to share a friendship, be it the old friends or the new ones or altogether the existing ones.Individually, to each one of them I am indebted in some way or the other.And to each I want to say sorry if I've had hurt them in any ways. I'm finishing this post with this beautiful song "Wind beneath my wings" from the movie Beaches sang by Bette Midler.......This is to friendship and each of my Friends.

It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strain.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.

Me and my misadventures!!!

Well whenever it comes to me, somehow all adventures turn into misadventures......so whenever I use the term adventure for me.....be assured that it would be some kind of misadventure! Anyways, so let's come to the story.

The story goes back to this year's 'Navami', Durga Puja. Me along with my friends Pilu & Momo decided that we'd go out together for pandal-hopping like last year. So we had planned everything...like we 'd visit Badamtala Sangha,66 Palli n other pandals near Rashbehari and then after having lunch at Bachchan's Dhaba,we'd visit the other pandals near Behala and the rest. As planned,we had decided about meeting at Rashbehari crossing at 11 am and as usually we reached late (and mind you, I was first one to reach!). Then as planned we proceeded towards Badamtala. Just when we were going for our Lunch, suddenly I heard, naye actually felt something bubbling inside my stomach!.......Those who know me very well, they know I might be termed as female version of "Pelaram", a "Petroga" to the core! I usually survive on 'Imodium' - a medicine on these pathetic days.

Anyways, at that juncture I could very well understand what I needed at that moment,of course not any lunch.........but something else!I seriously did not know what to do...and I was feeling very embarrassed to express my real 'need' to my friends. So I thought that for a while I'd suppress my 'need'.....but aye! I couldn't suppress it for long. And finally I turned towards my friend Pilu and told her that I was feeling very sick and I needed to go to her home desperately(by the way she lives in Chetla). Obviously,they could not make out the seriousness of the situation, as they were desperately hungry. But amongst the murmured protest, I finally told them about the seriousness of the situation...that if I don't go to her home....well I didn't want to recreate any of infancy moments at that situation..........So,my friends yielded....but Aye!did you think that everything was okey-dokey after that? Naye! in that emergency situation, there was a big....n I mean a BIG traffic jam on the Chetla bridge. All the vehicles weren't moving an inch.....though we had boarded a bus, but that 'rest in motion' condition was affecting me like hell! I was feeling that very soon I was going to burst out...and my stupid friends kept on teasing me in that emergency condition! What they were saying I can't tell you, ........What can I say...they didn't even understand what I was going through...I daresay if they fall into this condition in their lifetime...they'd understand what I was going through then!!!!!!

So, finally after a 30 minutes wait (it seemed like a lifetime to me), we reached Pilu's home and I rushed to her home and obviously I was the first one to ring the bell, and without even saying 'Hi' n the other formalities to Kakima, I rushed to the ultimate place of 'Solace' and of course did not return before 10 minutes!!!!!!And my friends...I can say you 1 thing surely from experience that nothing gives you more heavenly and relieving feeling than this!!!......LOL!!!!!

Friendship as defined by Khalil Gibran

And a youth said, "Speak to us of Friendship."

Your friend is your needs answered.

He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.

And he is your board and your fireside.

For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."

And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;

For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;

For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.

For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.

If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.

For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live.

For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.

For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

Chanakya Sloka

Chanakya was one of the most celebrated ,shrewd n able statesman in India,during the time of King Chandragupta Maurya. This great statesman and philosopher has been often compared to Machiavelli, Aristotle and Plato, exemplifying his potentiality and influential status. I'd like to write down down some of the famous quotes by Chanakya here.If you go through them you will realise how this wise man's words holds true even in this era.

• Test a servant while in the discharge of his duty, a relative in difficulty, a friend in adversity, and a wife in misfortune.

• He is a true friend who does not forsake us in time of need, misfortune, famine, or war, in a king's court, or at the crematorium (smasana).

• Avoid him who talks sweetly before you but tries to ruin you behind your back, for he is like a pitcher of poison with milk on top.

• Do not put your trust in a bad companion nor even trust an ordinary friend, for if he should get angry with you, he may bring all your secrets to light.

• Do not reveal what you have thought upon doing, but by wise counsel keep it secret, being determined to carry it into execution.

• Rain which falls upon the sea is useless; so is food for one who is satiated; in vain is a gift for one who is wealthy; and a burning lamp during the daytime is useless.

• There is no water like rainwater; no strength like one's own; no light like that of the eyes; and no wealth more dear than food grain.

Krazzy 4

No......No this is no review of the film...neither the song Krazzy 4...its actually a name or term we use to describe 4 of us ...in the Uni.actually to be very precise..I mean me n 3 of my friends in the Uni.....Pilu,Momo,Nabu....apart from me n Pilu ,nabu n Momo r both from different colleges...but somehow we all 4 gelled from the 1st week of our 1st year classes...n now 'touchwood' we r still going strong.

The reason why we call us 'krazzy 4' is that we r really crazy to the power of insanity....or how else will you explain the uncontrollable laughter we give whenever there is any serious class going on!........the Mithunda ishtyle dance we do in the lift......the drama classes we give ourselves absolutely free (can't explain the content...sorry)......or the best mimicries we do, which would put the stand up comedians even into shame!

The real prob now is that our specializations are different now....me n nabu r in clinical while Pilu n Momo r in HR...but naye!...we still try to find out time for eachother whenever we get time....go to an empty classroom...close the door...put on the music....n dANce...n dance like hell....no it's no salsa or bollywoody thumke...these are what we call the "Keora Dance"...or the "Bisorjoner dance"....n we dance without no inhibitions.....

you know what thats the best part of our friendship...we behave with eachother without any pretence...totally comfortable....uninhibited......thats why other look at us with a different point of view...as if we have been released from the assylum....we r totally insane....but we dont really care about what they think of us...because in the end we are happy....we are having fan...we r enjoying our life...I think this is what it matters....ultimately you must be really happy...but not at the cost of anyone!!So long you are happy...it doesn't matter if people call us 'krazzy'...coz it's better to be 'krazzy' n be happy rather than be'normal' n be glum.....

My first Case

Ok I am no detective like Hercule Poirot or Sherlock Holmes....so don't get distracted by the title....I am just a buding Clinical Psychologist....still doing my Masters........this is our Specialization year...i.e, we choose different paths for us.....HR, Industrial, Community or Clinical psychology........as for me I chose Clinical (those who know me intimately...they know how desperate how i was to be in clinical from my very childhood).Here after a while you get to see patients....Naye....Clients( I'm a Rogerian...so can't use the word 'Patient')....not that you have to do the therapy part....since we are still amateurs....we are supposed to do the diagnosis part.At first you are supposed to see clients along with your partner (not Life partner!)...and then after a while when you gain enough experience...you get to see them alone.Ok so its over with introduction part...lets come to the real story!

Me and Ruhi are partner here....Ruhi is basically from D.U.........and she still hasn't mastered bengali......it's kinda fun talking with her.....we often utter 'Sudhya' bengali...leaving Ruhi totally helpless .....her only reaction would be "Accha Accha .....Thik acche!".......though she can understand little bit of bengali....but still most of the things are "lost in translation'....so,I kinda play the role of the translator in most cases!From the very beginning Ruhi had insisted on getting some Hindi-speaking clients too(it's very necessary as a psychologist to do effective communication)...so finally it seemed God has listened to her...and we both got a hindi-speaking client party as our first case.

Can't describe the case...it's against our ethics....but I think more than the Client party...we both were scared and apprehensive......at first it seemed to me that everything is surreal......couldn't even concentrate in the first few mins...as I could hear my heart beating loud......didn't even start with the proper introduction that we had planned (we didn't even tell our names....until later on the Client party asked us!)......actually felt like a fish out of water....theoretically everything seems easy...practically facing clients wasn't that easy...........but I think what touched us most...was the eagerness,the pain,the need for empathy shown by the Client party.........somewhere down the line I felt...everybody is looking for that empathetic person who'll tell them,when everything is not going great......don't worry I'm with you...everything will be fine.....and I felt so helpless....I felt like saying , "God!give me the strength to help others"...I felt so incapable.....

It's kinda of strange.....each one of us are facing some kind of problem at a time...feeling helpless...looking for that unconditional support and love.....and search goes on......
Just think if each one of us can stretch our hands in support to others......not only them...but also we too will be helped....by holding eachothers' hand we would form a human bond.....of love.......then we won't even need any psychologists in the world!

Durga Puja

All about nothing!

Thus I'm stranded again in the middle of nowhere.The pathway has ceased to exist...it's no longer there..it has become one with stone,gravel and dust.Now I've to decide myself which path to follow....it's totally my choice now...the choice I'd make, would direct my journey now onwards.

It's so tiring to wait and watch like this;patience has its own virtues...but for an impatient person ,it's always the contrary.

It's a curse to know things sometimes..so it seems as if it's better to be naive....but after facing life from its close quarters,it's not possible to keep intact one's naivity or innocence.

It's a vain effort to write...it's vain effort to try and feel like others...it's a vain effort to make everyone satisfied,including urself!...It's a vain effort in trying to create something that will burst into the Arena like a victor and create Magic!

The Changing face of Indian Family

The Great Indian Family saga is a well coined terminology - celebrated in varieties of magazines,newspaper ,internet...even in K serials and sweared by a certain Mr.Johar or a Mr.Barjatiya.As it is often shown in the serials,the men in the family usually go to their offices in suits ,while the women manage the kitchen and their kids wearing kanjivarams and heavy makeup.But Indian Family is not so simple or cliched as that .......it is a complex,customized..often liberal......in a whole an interesting social institution.

If we can trace the earlier days of Indian Familyhood,we would find that Family came into existence with the institution of Marriage.As people got married and gave birth to children,they thought of strengthening the bond by staying together as a unit and by this idea the concept of family came into being.Previously the main system in the family was that of joint family system.People who shared the same blood came together and formed a family.But not only that,even the neighbours and the domestic helps even were considered a part of that BIG Family.All these helped the family members to share a feeling of togetherness,belongingness and even in forming a separate identity as a whole.

If the question arises that whether the family system was that of Patriarchal or Matriarchal in essence,I would rather opine that it was Both.The men being the main earning member of the family used to take part in most of the decision making,but it was the women who used to run the show inside the family.Be it being the treasurer(it's an open secret that the men either give their earnings to their mother or their spouse) or the being main spearhead in the household activities,women used to play crucial roles.So usuallly the seniormost man in the family would be regarded as the Head of the family ,while his spouse would also share the mantle in matters of household activities.

As it happens all the time,there was no dearth in quarrels or arguments within the family,whatever might be the reason......be it for power,or recognition or money , or even love.In the yester years ,the custom of a man having many wives was quite prevalent.So there were enough reasons for the women to fight amongst themselves.But all these fights were not only limited within the female section,the male section also used to take part in it equally.And their reasons also varied among power,properties or money

But inspite of all these human shortsomings,the joint family system survived for a long time,becuase where there was fighting ,there was love too;where there was lust for power ,there was the essence of sacrifice too.In a way the joint family system was like the Indian 'Khichdi'- mixture of different personalities.

But as modern age ushered in the advent of urbanisation,joint family system slowly began give way to its counterpart nuclear family system.As the male members went in search for better opportunities in the cities and finally settled there,nuclear family came into being.Now the modern family began to consist of the parents and their children.People started living in small apartments - a separate world of their own.The older members of the family mostly are either not given much importance in matters of the family,or else in an extreme way regarded as a burden.The relatives are for the occassional festive times or any kind of ceremony...else for the rest of the year apart from a 'hi hello' relation,not much contact is kept.In this time of multistoreyed bulidings,we often dont know who our neighbours are,while some of the more curious ones are treated with either suspicion or irritation.The parents are mostly busy with their own lives and the children with their studies.Instead of playing with friends on a ground or listening to stories from the Grandmas,the children have either internet or a fancy playstation to accompany them.

Even in the risk of sounding like a boring person,I would like to comment that I don't like this new modern lifestyle.Somehow,I feel suffocated ,as if I am not getting enough sunshine,water or air.This new lifestyle has its merit in many ways,but somewhere life has become very robotic,where in the pursue of material happiness ,people have forgotten one thing - sharing and caring.I am not criticising the nuclear family system here, I am criticising the lifestyle.After all we may be paupers or fools in real life,but its your family which will still treat you as the "Best".

Maybe we still yearn for this old charming essence of familylife or what else would explain the popularity of the family soaps or movies today.Maybe looking at the families shown in the soaps we fantasise for a family life like that.So long live the K serials ,long live the Johars and the Barjatiyas- as long as we crave for our families ,they will be no less popular.

Demons in the Desert

Once upon a time there were two merchants, who were friends. Both of them were getting ready for business trips to sell their merchandise, so they had to decide whether to travel together. They agreed that, since each had about 500 carts, and they were going to the same place along the same road, it would be too crowded to go at the same time.

One decided that it would be much better to go first. He thought, "The road will not be rutted by the carts, the bullocks will be able to choose the best of all the grass, we will find the best fruits and vegetables to eat, my people will appreciate my leadership and, in the end, I will be able to bargain for the best prices."

The other merchant considered carefully and realized there were advantages to going second. He thought, "My friend's carts will level the ground so we won't have to do any road work, his bullocks will eat the old rough grass and new tender shoots will spring up for mine to eat. In the same way, they will pick the old fruits and vegetables and fresh ones will grow for us to enjoy. I won't have to waste my time bargaining when I can take the price already set and make my profit." So he agreed to let his friend go first. This friend was sure he'd fooled him and gotten the best of him - so he set out first on the journey.

The merchant who went first had a troublesome time of it. They came to a wilderness called the 'Waterless Desert', which the local people said was haunted by demons. When the caravan reached the middle of it, they met a large group coming from the opposite direction. They had carts that were mud smeared and dripping with water. They had lotuses and water lilies in their hands and in the carts. The head man, who had a know-it-all attitude, said to the merchant, "Why are you carrying these heavy loads of water? In a short time you will reach that oasis on the horizon with plenty of water to drink and dates to eat. Your bullocks are tired from pulling those heavy carts filled with extra water - so throw away the water and be kind to your overworked animals!"

Even though the local people had warned them, the merchant did not realize that these were not real people, but demons in disguise. They were even in danger of being eaten by them. Being confident that they were helpful people, he followed their advice and had all his water emptied onto the ground.

As they continued on their way they found no oasis or any water at all. Some realized they'd been fooled by beings that might have been demons, and started to grumble and accuse the merchant. At the end of the day all the people were tired out. The bullocks were too weak from lack of water to pull their heavy carts. All the people and animals lay down in a haphazard manner and fell into a deep sleep. Lo and behold, during the night the demons came in their true frightening forms and gobbled up all the weak defenseless beings. When they were done there were only bones lying scattered around - not one human or animal was left alive.

After several months, the second merchant began his journey along the same way. When he arrived at the wilderness, he assembled all his people and advised them -"This is called the 'Waterless Desert' and I have heard that it is haunted by demons and ghosts. Therefore we should be careful. Since there may be poison plants and foul water, don't drink any local water without asking me." In this way they started into the desert.

After getting about half-way through, in the same way as with the first caravan, they were met by the water-soaked demons in disguise. They told them the oasis was near and they should throw away their water. But the wise merchant saw through them right away. He knew it didn't make sense to have an oasis in a place called 'Waterless Desert'. And besides, these people had bulging red eyes and an aggressive and pushy attitude, so he suspected they might be demons. He told them to leave them alone saying, "We are business men who don't throw away good water before we know where the next is coming from."

Then, seeing that his own people had doubts, the merchant said to them, "Don't believe these people, who may be demons, until we actually find water. The oasis they point to may be just an illusion or a mirage. Have you ever heard of water in this 'Waterless Desert"? Do you feel any rain-wind or see any storm clouds?" They all said, "No" , and he continued, "If we believe these strangers and throw away our water, then later we may not have any to drink or cook with - then we will be weak and thirsty- it would be easy for demons to come and rob us, or even eat us up! Therefore, until we really find water, do not waste even a drop!"

The caravan continued on its way and, that evening, reached the place where the first caravan's people and bullocks had been killed and eaten by the demons. They found the carts and human and animal bones lying all around. They recognized that the fully loaded carts and the scattered bones belonged to the former caravan. The wise merchant told certain people to stand watch around the camp during the night.

The next morning the people ate breakfast, and fed their bullocks well. They added to their goods the most valuable things left from the first caravan. So they finished their journey very successfully, and returned home safely so that they and their families could enjoy their profits.

The moral is: "One must always be wise enough not to be fooled by tricky talk and false appearances ."

The Golden Plate

Once upon a time in a place called Seri, there were two salesmen of pots and pans and hand-made trinkets. They agreed to divide the town between them. They also said that after one had gone through his area, it was all right for the other to try and sell where the first had already been.

One day, while one of them was coming down a street, a poor little girl saw him and asked her grandmother to buy her a bracelet. The old grandmother replied, "How can we poor people buy bracelets?" The little girl said, "Since we don't have any money, we can give our black sooty old plate." The old woman agreed to give it a try, so she invited the dealer inside.

The salesman saw that these people were very poor and innocent, so he didn't want to waste his time with them. Even though the old woman pleaded with him, he said he had no bracelet that she could afford to buy. Then she asked, "We have an old plate that is useless to us, can we trade it for a bracelet?" The man took it and, while examining it, happened to scratch the bottom of it. To his surprise, he saw that underneath the black soot, it was a golden plate! But he didn't let on that he had noticed it. Instead he decided to deceive these poor people so he could get the plate for next to nothing. He said 'This is not worth even one bracelet, there's no value in this, I don't want it!" He left, thinking he would return later when they would accept even less for the plate.
Meanwhile the other salesman, after finishing in his part of town, followed after the first as they had agreed. He ended up at the same house. Again the poor little girl begged her grandmother to trade the old plate for a bracelet. The woman saw that this was a nice tender looking merchant and thought, "He's a good man, not like the rough-talking first salesman." So she invited him in and offered to trade the same black sooty old plate for one bracelet. When he examined it, he too saw that it was pure gold under the grime. He said to the old woman, "All my goods and all my money together are not worth as much as this rich golden plate!"

Of course the woman was shocked at this discovery, but now she knew that he was indeed a good and honest fellow. So she said she would be glad to accept whatever he could trade for it. The salesman said, "I'll give you all my pots and pans and trinkets, plus all my money, if you will let me keep just eight coins and my balancing scale, with its cover to put the golden plate in." They made the trade. He went down to the river, where he paid the eight coins to the ferry man to take him across.

By then the greedy salesman had returned, already adding up huge imaginary profits in his head. When he met the little girl and her grandmother again, he said he had changed his mind and was willing to offer a few cents, but not one of his bracelets, for the useless black sooty old plate. The old woman then calmly told him of the trade she had just made with the honest salesman, and said, "Sir, you lied to us."

The greedy salesman was not ashamed of his lies, but he was saddened as he thought, "I've lost the golden plate that must be worth a hundred thousand." So he asked the woman, "Which way did he go?" She told him the direction. He left all his things right there at her door and ran down to the river, thinking, "He robbed me! He robbed me! He won't make a fool out of me!"
From the riverside he saw the honest salesman still crossing over on the ferry boat. He shouted to the ferry man, "Come back!" But the good merchant told him to keep on going to the other side, and that's what he did.

Seeing that he could do nothing, the greedy salesman exploded with rage. He jumped up and down, beating his chest. He became so filled with hatred towards the honest man, who had won the golden plate, that he made himself cough up blood. He had a heart attack and died on the spot!

The moral is: "Honesty is the best policy."

Seashore

On the seashore of endless worlds children meet.

The infinite sky is motionless overhead

and the restless water is boisterous.

On the seashore of endless worlds

the children meet with shouts and dances.

They build their houses with sand

and they play with empty shells.

With withered leaves they weave their boats

and smilingly float them on the vast deep.

Children have their play on the seashore of worlds.

They know not how to swim, they know not how to cast nets.

Pearl fishers dive for pearls, merchants sail in their ships,

while children gather pebbles and scatter them again.

They seek not for hidden treasures, they know not how to cast nets.

The sea surges up with laughter

and pale gleams the smile of the sea beach.

Death-dealing waves sing meaningless ballads to the children,

even like a mother while rocking her baby's cradle.

The sea plays with children,

and pale gleams the smile of the sea beach.

On the seashore of endless worlds children meet.

Tempest roams in the pathless sky,

ships get wrecked in the trackless water,

death is abroad and children play.

On the seashore of endless worlds is the

great meeting of children.

Rabindranath Tagore

Prisoner

Prisoner, tell me, who was it that bound you?'
`It was my master,' said the prisoner.
`I thought I could outdo everybody in the world in wealth and power,
and I amassed in my own treasure-house the money due to my king.
When sleep overcame me I lay upon the bed that was for my lord,
and on waking up I found I was a prisoner in my own treasure-house.'
`Prisoner, tell me, who was it that wrought this unbreakable chain?'
`It was I,' said the prisoner, `who forged this chain very carefully.
I thought my invincible power would hold the world captive
leaving me in a freedom undisturbed.
Thus night and day I worked at the chain
with huge fires and cruel hard strokes.
When at last the work was done
and the links were complete and unbreakable,
I found that it held me in its grip.'

Rabindranath Tagore

I am restless. I am athirst for far-away things.
My soul goes out in a longing to touch the skirt of the dim distance.
O Great Beyond, O the keen call of thy flute!
I forget, I ever forget, that I have no wings to fly, that I am bound in this spot evermore

I am eager and wakeful, I am a stranger in a strange land.
Thy breath comes to me whispering an impossible hope.
Thy tongue is known to my heart as its very own.
O Far-to-seek, O the keen call of thy flute!
I forget, I ever forget, that I know not the way, that I have not the winged horse.

I am listless, I am a wanderer in my heart.
In the sunny haze of the languid hours, what vast vision of thine takes shape in the blue of the sky!
O Farthest end, O the keen call of thy flute!
I forget, I ever forget, that the gates are shut everywhere in the house where I dwell alone!

Rabindranath Tagore

To my Teacher

You know how life springs up surprises at every nook and corner....This has happened with me too! When I was in Class 10..I was constantly in touch through letters with my uncle Barun. He used to Study in London and would write us rather big letters...sometimes emails too...which reflected his own thoughts and experiences. It was in one of his letters that he mentioned about the book "Lectures from Colombo to Almora".....This book contained a series of lectures which Swami Vivekananda gave after his return fom Chicago.He mentioned how this book changed hios life...so I got really interested...i thought lets buy the book and see what is so amazing about this book that Barunmama is just going Ga-ga over it!

And finally when I bought and started reading it ...it really changed my whole life...I'm not saying that I'm a very religious person by any means...but this book made such an unbelievable impact on me...that my whole thought process changed...I realized many a things...I'm still realizing them....A new world opened in front of me...there was indeed light at the end of the tunnel....from that moment ther was an evolution in me...I was not me anymore but someone else. From that moment S.V as I fondly call him...became my teacher..my Guru...

I cant say that I've followed each and every details of his teachings....Can't say that I've been that much sincere in my efforts....but as you know in a class theer are always the good and sincere students and there are the naughty ones who dont often follow the class....but the respect and intentions are the same...only I'd take a little bit of time to settle down ...but I'd definitely and thats a promise to my beloved Teacher!

Bavra Mann

This post is about a song I really love...this is from the Movie "Haazaron Khwayisen aisi".The song is "Bavra Mann",lyrics by Swanand Kirkire.The lyrics is so soulful that it touches your heart.....feels you with a with an unexplainBavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapnaable pain....a feeling of missing something in life.

Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Bavre Se Mann, Ki Dekho Bavri Hain Baatein
Bavre Se Mann, Ki Dekho Bavri Hain Baatein
Bavri Se Dhadkaane Hain, Bavri Hain Saansen
Bavri Si Karwaton Se, Nindiya Door Bhaage
Bavre Se Nain Chaahe, Bavre Jharokhon Se,
Bavre Nazaron Ko Takna.
Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Bavre Se Is Jahan Main Bavra Ek Saath Ho
Is Sayani Bheed Main Bas Haathon Mein Tera Haath Ho
Bavri Si Dhun Ho Koi, Bavra Ek Raag Ho
Bavri Si Dhun Ho Koi, Bavra Ek Raag Ho
Bavre Se Pair Chahen, Baavron Tarano Ke,
Bavre Se Bol Pe Thirakna.
Bavra Mann, Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Bavra Sa Ho Andhera, Bavri Khamoshiyan
Bavra Sa Ho Andhera, Bavri Khamoshiyan
Thartharati Low Ho Maddham, Bavri Madhoshiyan
Bavra Ek Ghooghta Chahe, Haule Haule Bin Bataye,
Bavre Se Mukhde Se Sarakana,
Bavra Mann, Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

The Alchemy

Wise men say that alchemy or as known in bengali "paraspathar" if it touches anything then that thing is turned into gold.In literary or even in spiritual term "paraspathar" is often termed as something that makes your life golden, i.e as fire is supposed to purify gold......alchemy is supposed to purify you on a spiritual level.I am not talking about God,Religion,or Dogmas of any kind but I'm talking about spirituality i.e being in touch with your spirit!

I've often wondered what can be called the alchemy of our life....My personal life experiences and also the lives and works of others that perhaps Sorrow is the main alchemy in our life.As wisemen ay sorrow is like the fire that purifies us and makes us beter human beings.Not only that it acts as a guideline.....People say that unless you haven't experienced sorow in life you won't be able to understand happiness......you won't be able to experience sympathy or empathy of any kind....you would be missing one of your basic emotional experience.As Tagore says,
"amar e dhup na porale,
gondho kichue nahi dhale
amar e dweep na jalale
deye na kicchue alo.
ei korocho bhalo nithur
ei korocho bhalo"

If we give thought to it we would certainly find that it is really true that alone sorow can actually light the extinguished fire inside us......it may make us come closer to our soul.....it may inspire us for creating master pieces.......Aye the most celebrated songs of the world is that of tragedy...that of sorrow......the same can be said about poems too!I don't want to go into the details of differentiating the causes of sorrow.But somewhere down the line I still believe and would continue believing that sorow is really the alchemy in our life.We just have to accept the fact that there's somewhere hidden in sorow is the essence of happiness!

Living.....etc

Well as it's often said.....Much to do about nothing.....so this is what I've been doing all these days...nothing!And mind it doing nothing also takes a lot of effort...you sit in just one particular place...either watching the Tv screen(doesn't matter if u like anything on it or not)...wasting your time on a simple cup of Tea(specially in my case Bedtea) or looking outside the window in such a way as if you are the world's greatest Philosopher!But Aye!all these efforts are not understood by your parents...specially your mother....and she'll start pursuing you to do some studies or atleast some household works.The least you can do then is to turn deaf(no prob with me,I've already affected both my ears in a miraculous way!)or be indifferent like a Philospher.

The most favourite activity of mine is sleeping ofcourse.But somehow my this favourite pasttime is detested by my family members....however I may try I can't make them understand the importance of sleep....i can give a whole lecture on it.If you don't believe me I can tell you that in REM sleep,i.e when you are dreaming,it helps you to process all the information you got during a day and helps in Long term Memory storage.and also Growth Hormone is secreted then which is essential for human growth.I can go on raving about the neccessity of sleep ,but what's the use my parents simply won't understand!Hope you peoiplke will agree with my vision.Till then......